My Mind: A Reality Show? (2)

My mind a reality show

Over the years, I have always kept some form of diary. I have never been committed enough to write an entry every day but once in a while I use it as a medium to vent my frustrations. Recently, I have gotten into the habit of typing notes on my phone; At first, I was using it to ‘form busy’ when I wasn’t in the mood to talk to people but over time it became something of a a venting pad.

Anyways, on the 28th of May this year, I got into it with a friend. When i say got into it, i mean this person made the usual snide remarks about my introverted nature and i hissed and pretended i had gone deaf; but for some reason it really got to me and the harder i tried to brush it off, the angrier i got. By the time i had brought myself to a boil, the cause of my anger was gone and i was left with a whirl of angry thoughts in my mind, which even i know is unhealthy and there was a good chance I was going to transfer aggression to an innocent bystander.

So, i brought out my phone and poured out the bile that was poisoning me; I was typing on and off for about an hour in traffic until i was satisfied. I turned my phone off and that was the end of it. (Okay, that was not the end, it inspired a couple of Instagram posts and my review of Quiet. 🙂

I was going through my phone today, and  came across the note i made in anger. Reading it with a clear head, i was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t an incoherent babble. In fact, i thought it was a good idea to share it with the general public.  😀

Introverts are not weird.

Don’t you dare try to make me feel inadequate for being myself.

Gay people etc have groups for support, and people will eventually learn to accept them, if they haven’t already but introverts will never be so lucky.

For the uneducated, an introvert is not shy, snobbish, antisocial or any other kind of ridiculous adjective you want to use. Introverts are simply stimulated by internal rather than external impulses.

If you still don’t get it, it means when an extrovert hears a drum beating, it makes him feel like dancing. An introvert doesn’t feel like dancing just because there is music playing and just the sight of all this people dancing for some indecipherable reason can give an introvert neck cramps or maybe that’s just me.

If you still have trouble understanding, think about what you would do if you got stuck in a room with 5 people for hours with no phones or whatever. Would it make you uncomfortable just sitting there if people are not talking? You are probably an extrovert. If you are perfectly comfortable sitting by yourself in a world of your own thoughts, then you are most likely an introvert.

The room, of course, is dominated by people who feel the need to start a conversation about any and everything and that’s fine but why should you subject people who feel differently to ridiculous stereotypes, telling introverts that they are abnormal. Maybe I just can’t abide small talk and if there were more people like me in that room, then you would be the abnormal one, wouldn’t you?

Sure in a room where there is an already established purpose, my mind wouldn’t wander off because I have something to talk about and that’s when the exclamations start: “I didn’t know you were this funny o”, “I thought you were a snob sha”, “so this girl can talk” etc.

Please educate yourself, there are more than one kind of person in this world and if you come at me ignorant, you won’t like what you leave with and I really couldn’t care less what you think about me. One way or another it’s not adding money to my bank account.

Socialising for the sake of it might satisfy some deficiency for you but please don’t judge me by your shortcomings. I don’t have a problem staying at home to read a book.

Does the fact that I seem content doing what can never satisfy your needs make you feel uncomfortable? Then you need to check yourself. Does my ability to sit by myself for hours disturb you in any way? That’s your problem.

Don’t try to understand me, you can’t. Just go ahead and do you own thing or pick up a book if it intrigues you so much. What you shouldn’t do is tell me to smile or ask me why I’m not laughing. Do I look like a clown?, I didn’t come here to entertain you. If you have something to say, spit it out. Don’t beat around the bush and try to make me feel inadequate for being myself.

Why should I have to wear a mask over my nature? You are allowed to be yourself just because there are more of you, why won’t you let me live? Don’t be concerned for me. If you would stop being so judgy, maybe you could know me. I don’t need more friends, I have enough. I can be friendly but don’t tell me how to do it.

Let me live.

Feel free to tell me what you think.

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  1. I’m an extrovert and I think I’ve judged a lot of introverts wrong.

    I repent now?.

    Thanks for sharing.

  2. Seriously I don’t understand the stereotype judgemental mentality that some people has towards introverts. I have had my own share of their spites, it just doesn’t make sense judging people who are different from you. The world will be a boring place if people all acts and behave alike. Some people need serious schooling in human relation.

    I enjoy reading your rants though, lol

    1. Thank you ? . Live and let live, that’s my life policy. I wish more people would do the same.

  3. Gosh! I was literally smiling through your post…You just captured my life…It’s good to know there are other people that prefer to get lost in their thoughts than start idle conversations with people they hardly know…The pretending to do something on your phone thing I do that alot to avoid conversations, thank God for phones or I would have a nervous breakdown…
    Thanks for sharing

  4. Lorrrrrd! I don’t want to sound mushy or anything, but this is just it!
    “So, Dunni can talk like this!” That just annoys me.
    And when people ask me to laugh? Urrgh! I’m like, “Laugh at what? There’s nothing funny.” I don’t know how I’m expected to walk around with a stupid smile plastered on my face for nothing.
    Oh, and when they don’t understand you, or want to make friends with you but can’t seem to, they call you proud! I’ve had so much of that that it no longer bothers me. In fact, if a person does not call me proud within a few months of having met me, I evaluate them; maybe they’re chameleons, or maybe they just understand me. In most cases, they understand me. It’s the extroverts, people who do not understand me, and are not ready to make an effort who just label me.
    People should just understand that we were created differently. We can’t all be hyperactive, hyper-smiley, hyper-everything. We can’t all also be hypo-active, quiet, and reserved. :). And, as one of my friends likes to say, “That’s what makes life interesting.”
    Yikes, I’ve gone on for long o. This my rant is long. It’s like a blog post on its own. Sorry for the length, ehn? I guess it really got to me. 😉

    1. O.M.G. You have made my day, seriously… It’s really nice to meet people who live my life, Lol.
      I have been fighting the ‘Should i now start smiling like an idiot everywhere?’ war for as long as i can remember.
      In fact, i am glad that God blessed me with stubbornness and a loud voice or i would have been moulded into a shadow of my true self. That is not to say that my behaviour has not been messed up by the constant criticism but as i get older, i am starting to note the difference between my natural reactions and my defensive reactions.
      God help us.
      I have also ended up with an epistle… 🙂 #itiswell
      Thank you so much for the time you have spent on my blog today ehn, I love you already… xo

  5. In the heat of typing the reply, I forgot to say thank you for following my blog.
    “Thanks a lot! Ori mi wu!”